Call Me Crazy
Friday, July 22, 2005
So, go ahead...call me crazy, but...I was reading in Isaiah yesterday and in chapter 55 verses 6-13 he is telling us to seek the Lord and in verses 10 - 13 he is telling us how the Lord will bless us, especially if we read and study the scriptures. Well...in verse 12 it says that we will be so blessed that "...ye shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and the trees of the field shall clap their hands." The mountains and hills will sing and the trees will clap their hands for us! Now...when I was a little girl (you will all remember my telling you this) I would go outside and dance with the trees and bushes, and they would bow to me, and when I would ride in the car the trees would wave to me, as well as the clouds, because I was "the queen." Maybe I wasn't as silly as I thought! Maybe...in my childhood innocence, no so long away from my heavenly home, I knew and understood more about the elements than I do today! They certainly did bring me great joy as a child! So...thanks Isaiah for reminding me that trees clap for us...and that the mountains and the hills sing for us (the hills are alive with the sound of music...). The thought does bring me joy.
posted by Carolee at 5:45 AM
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Something Wild
Monday, July 11, 2005
I read this article in "Body and Soul" magazine and it says what I'm feeling these days. Joe will love it. The rest of you will hopefully tolerate it. The article is written by MaryJane Butters, and I've shortened it a bit.
As I sit down to write, my thoughts are still outside, grounded in "wild." Wild tracks me with its head down, intent. I crossed its path on the way to the woodshed last night and then again this morning up by the pond. I love wild's inspiration, cast daily into my life. The mud puddle becomes a sonnet. The rusty gate hinge becomes a short story. The smell of stacked firewood becomes romance, and the egg from my chicken becomes breakfast.
For a farmer, wild is a neighbor, leaning over the fence to say hello all day long, It's why, some 20 years ago, I chose an agrarian life. I always have its companionship in the moon, the wind, a soft place to nap outside, a walk alone at night, and my own two feet. Granted, farming isn't easy, but the work has taught me that easy comes from hard. Planting a tiny heirloom tomato seed that will someday send my salivary glands into an ecstatic spasm is the perfect metaphor for hard, then wonderful. And every season it starts again, in the dark, in the soil. A seed is just a tiny little bit of hope, with wild still inside it. Will it sprout and take hold?
When wild taps me on the shoulder, I stop to listen, lean, and then linger long on the tall handle of a hoe. we are, after all, composed of the same elements as soil -- our final home as well -- so it is a homecoming when someone decides to farm or garden. Only dirty, calloused hands and a tired back can help us remember what really matters. It's no wonder the corporate manager and the banker are so often homesick, threatening to cash in their chips and buy a farm.
If you believe in such a thing as a soul, wild is good for it. I'm as busy and goal-oriented as the next person, but wild stops me from letting my wristwatch and every-present to-do list run my life. She's a great teacher.
Last week, early one morning, I decided to check up on our honey bees by putting an ear to the side of their hives. The louder the hum from inside, the healthier the hive, indicating that there's a strong queen and many worker bees. Just beyond our hives lay a jumble of firewood, mauls, and axes -- a work in progress. The morning sun was warm, so I found two bolts of unsplit firewood, one for a seat and one for a back cushion, for sitting a spell, putting my face to the sun, closing my eyes. It never fails. Once my eyes are closed, I begin to hear something other than the chatter in my head. In the distance, my husband was talking to Esme and Angie, our cows, as he fed and patted them. I could smell the pitch of the pine logs surrounding me, the smell that household cleaners try in vain to mimic. I heard what I thought to be a mouse moving busily in the grass two feet away. I opened my eyes to confirm that my senses were sharp. My chickens were scratching in the dirt around me, completely focused, as if their lives depended on it. A nearby wood pecker sounded off like a coiled spring let loose. I was savoring the moment when a pack of nearby coyotes hit the airwaves, wailing and yelping, one of the more bizarre sounds that wild has to offer. It was out of the ordinary. Around here, coyotes never yelp during the day. As Esme bellowed back at them and a honeybee flew by, I thought, I've got it all.
So I'm hearing the call of the wild, and I'm changing. I've always hated spiders, but...they don't bother me so much anymore. I even smashed one with my finger the other day, while Melanie was here, and grossed her out. I bought some boots (Argylls from Scotland) so I can tromp around and not worry about getting muddy or scratched. I hunger to know more about the different types of chickens and guinea hens and turkeys, and am constantly watching for another good idea on how to layout my garden. I wonder what kind of fish we should put in our lake and if a cat will get along with the guinea hens. Dad and I wandered around Cabela's the other day for a couple of hours and loved it! Who would have thought we would ever have fun walking around a hunting, fishing and outdoor gear store. And we looked at four-wheelers! I can't wait to drive our little four-wheeler/mini-truck around the farm. (We haven't bought one yet, but...we will.) I fall asleep dreaming of "wild" and I'm totally ready to immerse myself in it and savor all the "wild" moments. It surprises ME! Go figure!!
posted by Carolee at 9:42 AM
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Life...what a ride!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Jenkins Lloyd Jones once said, "Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. Most putts don't drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. . .Life is like an old-time rail journey - delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
I also love this quote on life from writer Melody Beattie, who knows what it is to be grateful after surviving a cocaine binge that left her temporarily paralyzed. She had lived as the lowest of the low then risen to write, "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
When things aren't going quite the way you thought they would, cultivate an attitude of gratitude. The journey wasn't meant to be smooth, but it was meant to be joyful. When you are struggling, the Lord is trying to teach you something. Don't get angry...humble yourself and be patient and wait to be taught. And while you are waiting to be taught...count your blessings!
I know I have shared this quote with Joseph, but I don't think I have shared it with all of you. Jeffrey R. Holland said, "Jesus said, 'Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' (John 14:27) I submit to you that this may be one of the Savior's commandments that is, even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints, almost universally disobeyed. I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when he finds that his people do not feel confident in his care or secure in his hands or trust in his commandments."
We are on an adventure here below, and sometimes it gets a little scary, and it is often frustrating and full of bumps and jolts, but remember who you are and why you are here and be patient...it all works out in time and there is great joy to be found while on the ride! "The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride!"
posted by Carolee at 7:05 AM
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